A new chapter in my life

 Jimbaran, 21st of December 2022

Ok, it's really hard for me to get started (lol). It's been a long time since last time I wrote for fun so, my writing skill is just... deteriorating. By the way, at this point I'm still contemplating whether to write in English or Bahasa. It's really hard to be a bilingual (which means, you spoke two broken languages at the same time lmao). English would be good, because sometimes I can express my feelings better rather than when I speak in Bahasa. However, if we think about my limited English vocabulary - and bad grammar - Bahasa is better. Well, whatever. It's only me here and I don't think there will be any people who read this blog, or cares about me switching between two languages anyway. 

So, yeah. Hello, blogger. I'm back.

I think the last time I wrote something here was on February 2016. Wow, when I started this blog in 2014, I literally was a junior high school brat (it's not like now I'm not either). It's amazing that I wrote many things at that age, but I still could not stand to read them haha. Like, I wrote a diary, titled: "Aku bertambah tua" when I was 15 😂. I'm not gonna delete them though. It's a part of me and I don't want to lose it.  

Why am I back now when I just turned 23? 

I accidentally read my friend, T-san's blog. It's a public diary, so I don't think she would mind about it. The text is all in Japanese. My kanji reading and Japanese vocabulary aren't really great (yes, I'm planning to add one more language to learn). But thanks to google auto translate, I can read it just fine. The diary itself is really interesting. It was short, very well-written - considering how I can understand the context just using the google translate - and she wrote it consistently, without missing a day. She's been doing it for years, which is incredible. The content is pretty. The way she sees the world, values her memories and her thoughts about people are just beautiful. As a person who is easily influenced, of course I'm motivated to write mine lol. 

I think it's good to write things down for now, because I have a short-term memory loss. It's funny that I forgot the incident of my dad who threw a mug to me when we fought couple years ago, and I totally loss the memory. Maybe it's a PTSD effect? But, I'm glad that my brain is the type that immediately erases traumatic events as a defensive response. I feel that since then, I could not really remember things from the past. 

I decided to write a diary because my tarot reader mentioned things about writing my feelings. Ms. L gave me lots of advice and I'm starting to see her as my financial advisor or a psychiatrist rather than a tarot reader 😂.  Another thing that made me start writing is probably my new laptop. I bought a really good one for my job yay! Idk, but lots of good things happen since I'm back to Indonesia. I met new good people. We made great memories, and I want to cherish it. I hope by writing I can be a better person. Here is a new chapter in my life.

T-san wrote about all of her favourite things, and she divided it by segments. She's very well organised. I think I will do the same thing. So, for the start maybe: music, food, cat, fangirl life (yes, I absolutely need to add this segment lol)? I'll be thinking about it later haha. I will try to be very consistent about it. 

A super big smile to start!

Cheers to a new chapter.